Scream
by Rei Tel Aviv
Summary: Tag to Dagger. Did she really have to wear her scars like a badge on her arm for someone to realize that she was screaming inside?


**Disclaimer**: This characters and song obviously do not belong to me. But at least I can say that I wrote the story!

**Author's Note**: I don't know. I heard this song a few years ago and its just been stuck on me. I like it. I'm not exactly using it in the meaning it was meant for, but it I suppose it can be considered in whatever way you please. The lyrics are by ZOEgirl. And this is set during season 6, right after Dagger. It will have some spoilers. Just beware.

**Scream**:

Tony could see her face. Why did she turn to him? That was her biggest mistake, turning to look at Tony when she knew full-well the tears had already fallen. Sure, she had cried a few times now, but never so openly. She was in the middle of the squad room, there was no place to hide. There must be a place she could go. Abby would hide her down in the lab, but only if she explained to her what was wrong, and she'd likely be forced to hug that farting hippo. She wasn't sure she was ready for hugging Bert.

She quickly turned away from Tony, and though there was really no place to hide right here, she could probably get around the desks and find someplace quiet. But the fact was, Tony had already seen her. He didn't tend to follow her though, even though at times she wanted him to. Why did being emotional have to be so confusing?

She did what she wanted, which was to go around the desks at a quick walking pace, yet not hiding her face from anyone who could see her. Maybe if she wore the emotion for once, somebody would understand that she wasn't some kind of robot with programmed thoughts. No one appeared to notice though.

She waited for the elevator to open. She was starting to feel numb already as she wiped her face quickly.

Gibbs looked up as Tony went passed him moving quickly. That was when he noticed Ziva rubbing her eyes as she waited for the elevator. That wasn't good, but maybe Tony was just the person to make her feel better. He could imagine exactly what Ziva was thinking at the moment.

When the elevator doors opened, Ducky stood up and saw Ziva wiping her face with her arm. He stepped off the elevator and went to say something, but she simply moved past him. Suddenly Tony squeezed past him and into the elevator as well before the doors closed.

Tony watched the doors closed and watched the confusion on Ducky's face. He realized this was really the first time he'd followed Ziva anywhere, but he'd never seen her quite like this before.

Ziva turned and looked away from Tony when he hit the emergency stop switch.

"This is about Michelle?" he asked.

Ziva was silent as she stared at the wall.

"Ziva," he said, putting his hand on her shoulder.

Ziva moved away and flipped the switch back on.

"Hey," Tony said, flipping the switch back. "Look at me, Ziva."

Ziva turned and looked at him, her eyes puffy and holding back the tears that threatened to fall again. "This is what it takes for you to notice that I am upset?" she asked him. "I have to cry?"

_Does anybody know how I feel?  
Sometimes I'm numb, sometimes I'm overcome  
Does anybody care what's going on?  
Do I have to wear my scars like a badge on my arm  
For you to see me, I need release_

Ziva waited for the doors to open, but when they started to, Tony hit the close doors button and flipped the switch again. "You are going to break it," she told him, ignoring the fact he was trying to talk to her. She flipped the switch. "If you do not mind, I want to go."

Tony frowned and let the doors open and let her walk off. He held the doors open as she got off and even afterwords. "Ziva.."

She stopped, but she didn't look at him.

"I'm not going to give up," he told her.

This time Ziva did turn to look at him. She smiled a little at him, but she said nothing and continued walking away.

Tony sighed and walked after her. He could at least follow her and make sure she wouldn't get into any trouble.

But she wasn't driving, she was walking. Why was she walking? That didn't make any sense. Ziva prided herself on her insane driving, even if it did make the rest of the team puke at times. Secretly he liked those kinds of crazy things about her. If she weren't so insane, she wouldn't be the Ziva they all knew. And this wasn't the Ziva that _he_ knew.

Ziva knew he was following her, and though she hated he was following her, she didn't mind so much. But she decided to lose him anyways.

Tony rounded the corner she'd turned, and suddenly he realized she was gone. Where could she have disappeared to?

Ziva stood quietly in the alley for a moment as she watched Tony walk passed. She didn't know why she couldn't just talk to him, but maybe she just expected him to know something was wrong with her, even if she wasn't crying. They'd been partners for a few years now. If she could tell when he was upset, he should at least be able to do the same.

She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them a moment later, there were a few men around her.

"Hi there pretty woman," the first guy said, holding the knife.

Ziva held back the eyeroll. These idiots had no idea who they were about to mess with.

_Do I have to scream for you to hear me?  
Do I have to bleed for you to see me?  
'Cause I grieve, you're not listening to me  
Do I need to scream?_

Ziva sighed. "Can I help you?"

"Well yeah," he told her, moving his hand to play with a piece of her hair. "Just lookin' for a good time."

Ziva smirked. He was lucky she had not yet removed his arm, let alone the stupid smile on his ugly face. "I am not sure I would enjoy your, good time."

A few of the others snorted some laughs out.

The man who was talking just seemed pissed. "I could make you enjoy it."

Ziva did roll her eyes now. What a fool. She quickly elbowed him in the nose when he reached for her shirt. "You are right, I did enjoy that."

The other men seemed a little shocked.

At least this would give her some kind of release after what happened. She was ready to fight anyone who tried a damn thing.

All of them had knives out now. "Let's get her."

Zva huffed out a sigh before she knee'd one man in the groin and dropping him to the ground. She turned to another who was relatively close with his knife, and grabbed his arm, twisting it and kicking her foot up into his stomach and then his face, putting him down as well.

Three down, three to go, she mused. But someone who was down kicked her legs out, and she dropped to her knees.

_Has anybody seen what's been done?  
Where was my defense? No one heard my protest  
The eyes of God were watching me  
It's time to make my peace, let it go and be released  
So I can breathe again  
I'm on my knees_

Not good, she decided. She rammed her shoulder into the mid-section of one of her attackers and then turned and collided her fist into the fifth's nose. But the others were standing up to begin the onslaught again.

But she felt it then. And she'd felt it before, though a long time ago. Someone screamed. Was it her? She didn't know.

Tony heard it, a woman's scream. It sounded like Ziva, but he'd never heard her scream before. He ran back quickly with his gun in his hand and his badge showing. The alley, he decided, that's where she was. "NCIS!" he yelled. "GET AWAY FROM HER!"

The men froze as they looked towards the man with the gun, and all of them took off.

Tony ran to Ziva quickly. She was down on her knees, and there was a look of pure shock on her face. That was when he noticed the blood on the back of her shirt. It was hard to notice through her already maroon shirt, but the bloodied spot made it darker.

"Ziva.." he said quietly, pulling her into his arms. Was she dying? She couldn't die.. no, he couldn't let her.

Everything seemed to be getting so dark, she didn't want everything to become dark. She hated the dark.. but she closed her eyes anyways.

_I've been marked, set apart  
But I'm cut so deep and afraid of the dark  
One drop of blood from the hole in Your hand  
Is enough to heal me and make me stand_

She opened her eyes and saw light, and as she focused, she realized that she hadn't been dying. She'd simply been dreaming. She took a deep breath and rested her head in her hands. Now she remembered why she hated to dream. She never had a dream, really. She always had nightmares.

"Ziva?"

Ziva jumped up from the floor and had her gun aimed at the door until she noticed it was Tony.

"Hey.. sorry," Tony said, putting his arms up in mock-surrender.

Ziva dropped her arm and looked away, and looked at herself in the mirror. She seemed to look normal, but god she just wanted to scream.

Tony took a moment to regroup before he walked over to Ziva. He knew something wasn't right, and he was determined to hear her out for once. "Look," he said, putting his arms on Ziva's shoulders. "You and I both know you're not ok," he told her. "Just talk to me.. I'm listening."

Ziva glanced up at him. He was serious. Tony never wanted to have those serious talks, said they made him uncomfortable. And when did he start listening without being forced to?

"Really, Zee-vah," he said with a smile as he prolongeg the syllables of her name.

Ziva smiled a little.

_'Cause I'm clean, He is listening to me_

She sighed and looked away for another moment. But he came to her, and he wanted to talk. And she needed to talk. She needed to tell.

"Michelle said something to me.." she told Tony. "Before they left the the restaurant.."

Tony looked at her.

"She said that the reason she did not ask me what I thought, is because I would not understand, just like everybody else," Ziva told him.

Tony nodded for her to go on. He ignored the fact he was conversing with Ziva in the women's room. Now he knew how she must feel running after him into the men's room. If it actually even bothered her, because it didn't appear to.

"But Tony.. I do understand.."

Tony frowned. How did she understand?

"You and I both know I was trying to get Ari out of the country," she told him. "You saw the switch I did, and you know what?" she asked.

"What?" Tony finally asked in return.

"I did that, knowing that what he was accused of was most likely true," she told him.

Tony frowned once more.

"I denied it to Gibbs of course, but Tony he was my brother," she told him, hoping he understood. "You are supposed to protect your family.."

Tony knew it had to of upset her that Gibbs had wound up killing Ari, and he didn't know why he'd never thought of that before now. She was living life, working with the man that killed her brother. "And you couldn't protect him when he went after Gibbs.."

Ziva was silent as she stepped away from Tony.

_I don't have to scream for Him to hear me  
Don't have to bleed for Him to see me  
'Cause I'm clean, He is listening to me  
I don't have to scream  
I don't have to bleed  
'Cause I'm clean, He is listening  
And I don't have to scream_

"Ziva?" Tony asked. "You couldn't protect him any longer.. we both know that," he said as she turned to look at him. He put his hand on her cheek to stop the tear that had fallen.

"I could have.." she told Tony quietly.

Tony seemed confused, had Ziva been there? He knew she'd transported his body back home.

Ziva looked down at the floor. "Tony.." she finally said. "You cannot tell anyone else.."

Tony frowned. "Tell them what?" he asked her.

"Promise first.." she said to him.

Tony's eyes softened immediately. She was serious. Whatever he was about to hear from her, she hadn't told anyone else. "I promise.." he told her.

"I could not protect Ari from Gibbs.." she admitted. "But I could have protected him from me.."

Tony just looked confused again. "I don't understand.."

Her eyes looked haunted for a moment when she looked at him again. "Gibbs," she said quietly. "He did not kill Ari.."

Tony seemed to take that in. "Then who.." he had started to ask. Until his eyes widened. "Oh god.." he managed to whisper before pulling Ziva to him.

The tears were free now. "Michelle risked everything to save her sister.." she told him. "She died for her, and I killed Ari, when I should have been willing to die to protect him.."

"Ziva.." he said quietly, holding her tightly to him. "Michelle's sister wasn't killing people.." he told her. "Her sister wasn't trying to murder anyone.." and suddenly Tony began to understand Michelle as well. And he understood Ziva on a new level too. "You saved Gibbs?" he finally asked after the realization hit him.

She nodded.

Tony smiled. "You know.."

Ziva still had her head leaning on Tony's shoulder since he had yet to let her out of the embrace.

"I'm still tired of pretending.."

Ziva lifted her head up and found herself nearly touching noses with Tony, just like when they were in the closet. "I am beginning to not know what you mean by that.."

"This.." Tony said, moving the inch and a half to put his lips on hers.

Ziva's eyes widened and she pushed him off of her at first. But Tony was simply smiling at her. "You are not kidding me?"

Tony shook his head.

"So am I then.." she told him, pulling his head back to hers and kissing him back.

Tony leaned forward, pushing her up against the wall. This was probably a bad idea, with a bathroom anyone could just..

"Whoa.. sorry guys.."

Tony and Ziva watched Abby run back out. Both of them just smiled when they heard her redirecting traffic, "Sorry ladies, out of order!"

**()()()()()()()()()()**

**Hope everyone enjoyed it. It was longer then I expected it to be! Hopefully it's a little different then the other Dagger tags.**

**-Rei**


End file.
